“Good for you guys for cloning yourselves or whatever”
“So, we have news,” Joan said.
“Oh?”
“You tell him, Jack.”
Jack smiled at Joan, and Joan smiled back. They both smiled at me. They seemed more like aliens than ever. All this smiling. Maybe I was the alien. The alien vampire pervert homo.
“Well,” he said, “we’re pregnant.”
“Oh my God,” I said. “Are you keeping it?”
A short silence passed.
“People don’t announce it when they’re not keeping the baby.”
Had the timing been different, I might have mentioned that, very drunk about six years prior, Joan had announced a soon-to-be-terminated pregnancy with an ironically festive air. Less than a week after the procedure we had gone out for an occasion she dubbed the Roe v. Wade Happy Hour.
“Can you believe we’re having a baby?” Jack said again.
“I hate it when men say ‘We’re pregnant’ or ‘We’re having a baby.’ It’s not like you’re doing any of the work, Jack. When you tell people, maybe try ‘We’re expecting’ or just ‘Joan’s pregnant.’ I hope I’m the first person you’re trying this out on.”
“You’re not. W…
“Oh?”
“You tell him, Jack.”
Jack smiled at Joan, and Joan smiled back. They both smiled at me. They seemed more like aliens than ever. All this smiling. Maybe I was the alien. The alien vampire pervert homo.
“Well,” he said, “we’re pregnant.”
“Oh my God,” I said. “Are you keeping it?”
A short silence passed.
“People don’t announce it when they’re not keeping the baby.”
Had the timing been different, I might have mentioned that, very drunk about six years prior, Joan had announced a soon-to-be-terminated pregnancy with an ironically festive air. Less than a week after the procedure we had gone out for an occasion she dubbed the Roe v. Wade Happy Hour.
“Can you believe we’re having a baby?” Jack said again.
“I hate it when men say ‘We’re pregnant’ or ‘We’re having a baby.’ It’s not like you’re doing any of the work, Jack. When you tell people, maybe try ‘We’re expecting’ or just ‘Joan’s pregnant.’ I hope I’m the first person you’re trying this out on.”
“You’re not. W…